Life’s Too Short…
To Dance with Ugly Women
Jokes, One-Liners and Quotes about Women
A Man’s Guide to Women!
Now, the jokes are on them!
New book from Danielle Adams Publishing
234 pages, 5-½” x 8-½” · Edited by Dr. Mann – Just $9.95 (ebook)
Paperback – Just $9.95 + $5 shipping/handling
Yea, It’s that Funny!
I mean it’s really, really Funny.
In fact, it’s more than really really Funny — it’s F-U-N-N-Y.
If you’re a man, you’re gonna love this book. At just $9.95 (ebook) you’d be crazy not to buy this book! The first hundred laughs will more than cover this ten dollar investment! And the lifetime of smiles and great sayings you’ll use over and over will make you king-like in bars, at parties and at gas station mini-marts and 7-11’s across the country. It’s value will increase over time. OK… maybe, maybe not.
If you’re a woman… Actually you shouldn’t buy this book – it’s not for you (unless it’s a gift for a man!). If you buy this book and don’t like it — hey, we warned you. It’s not our fault if you can’t follow instructions! Life’s Too Short speaks volumes about women – FUNNY volumes.
Life’s Too Short To Dance with Ugly Women is a man’s joke book.
Fast-paced and fun right from the start with sayings and one liners about man’s favorite — and not so favorite subject — Women.
Nothing mean or nasty. OK, well maybe just a few – but seriously, or not seriously – it’s mostly just accurate and descriptive, with sayings like:
Any woman who says she’ll meet you half way is usually
a poor judge of distance.
When women get a divorce they all ask for custody of the money.
She may not marry you for your money — but she may not know
any other way to get it.
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way.
Diamonds – the hardest substance known to man, especially to get back.
Adolescence – when a girl’s voice changes from no to yes!
Here’s what you get, including the page numbers. You just gotta buy this book: Life’s Too Short to Dance with Ugly Women. It’s only $9.95 for the ebook version – you’ve wasted more than five times that on a mediocre bottle of wine. Not for sale to women — unless you’re buying it as a gift for a man. Please bring a note.
Life’s Too Short To Dance with Ugly Women
Women. Now the jokes are on them.
Table of Contents:
Every woman has a secret desire to write checks.
Sayings about Women Page 21
Give a woman an inch, and she thinks she’s a ruler.
One and Two Liners about Women Page 27
“I could hug you till you break,” he said passionately, and gave her a big
squeeze, until he felt her crack.
More One and Two Liners Page 31
A man is as old as the woman he feels.
More Sayings about Women Page 35
If you want to know why they’re called the opposite sex,
express an opinion!
Still More Sayings Page 39
She’s one of 5 million overweight women.
These, of course, are round figures.
Just Jokes (These jokes are Justified!) Page 43
“Carry your bag, sir?”
“No, let her walk!”
Conversations Overheard… Page 77
“What do you do when a woman faints?”
Dr. Mann: “I stop Kissing Her!”
Ask Dr. Mann Page 85
Show Me Your Tits!
Men’s Words & Sayings Page 92
Why is a fat girl like a moped?
They’re both fun to ride till a friend sees you!
Burning Questions About Women Page 93
If your wife wants to learn to drive,
don’t stand in her way.
Wives, and other strange stories Page 99
Wife: An attachment you screw on the bed
to get the housework done.
Definitions Page 105
Foreplay is optional!
Why it’s GREAT being a guy Page 111
“It’s only the third quarter – you should order another couple of pitchers.”
Things a good woman will say… Page 113
They seem to be the perfect couple – she waxes the floor,
and he takes a bottle and polishes it off.
Marriage Page 117
“Say Waiter, what time is it?”
“Sorry, this Isn’t my table”
Men Jokes Page 123
Q. What’s the definition of Making Love?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is humping her.
Questions about men and women Page 127
Doilies. If it wasn’t for women, we wouldn’t have this stuff.
Women Stuff Page 134
“I’m hung like a loaf of Italian Bread!”
Automobile Sayings (Car Signs) 135
Wrinkles add character
103 More reasons is GREAT being a guy Page 147
A Quick 10-Question Manly Test 156
Pass My Shotgun
What PMS really stands for… Page 158
Here’s to women, if we could only fall into
their arms without falling into their hands.
Quotations about Women Page 165
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
More Quotations about Women Page 169
If a woman likes another woman, she’s cordial.
If she doesn’t like her, she’s very cordial.
Irvin S. Cobb
Still More Quotes About Women Page 175
Let us have wine and women, mirth and lafter,
sermons and soda water the day after.
Some people like women Page 179
Men, some to pleasure, some to business take,
but every woman is at heart a rake.
Some people don’t like women Page 181
Next to the wound, what women make best
is the bandage.
Some people have mixed feelings Page 183
A true gentlemen is one who is never
Sayings about Men Page 187
When thou goest to woman, take thy whip.
These people are tough on women Page 191
All tragedies are finished by a death,
All comedies are ended by a marriage.
Quotations about Marriage Page 195
In the election of a wife as in a project of war,
to err but once is to be undone forever.
Quotations about Wives Page 201
Apparently, the way to a girl’s heart is
to saw her in half.
Famous People Quotations Page 203
You call this a party? The beer is warm
and the women are cold!
Movie Quotations about Women Page 207
The years that a woman subtracts from her age
are not lost. They are added onto the ages of other women.
Deane de Poitiers
Quotes from Women, on Women Page 213
Never trust a woman who tells her real age.
A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.
Advice Page 219
A woman always has her revenge ready.
Warnings Page 223
We hope you enjoy this book – If you like women – it’s really very funny.
If you’ve ever had a problem with a woman, it’s really very funnier!
If you just got a divorce – it’s really really very funnier.
Buy now! Just $9.95: ebook with Immediate FREE Digital Delivery –
YES — You can now get this title in a real “ink-on-paper” book. It’s $9.95 + $5 shipping and handling.
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