Like old friends, these lines are of great value to have at your side. This
reoccurring arsenal of words is a center point in almost all of my campaigns.
In Direct Mail:
"Gift Certificate Enclosed"
How many times have I said this? Whew. My very favorite line for getting
my clients' direct mail packages opened. Reasons?
* Gift certificates are inexpensive to print, at 1/3rd or 1/4 of a sheet of
paper - or less.
* May be printed on the same sheet as the letter, catalog or the order form
- for extra savings in printing costs.
* Ship flat, and adds very
little weight to your mailing package.
* They're much more upscale than coupons.
* Gift certificates
have a high perceived value.
* Cheap to redeem - in fact, have no
cost at all until redemption.
* May be targeted to specific merchandise or offers - good for overstock or
high margin items.
* Naturally easy to track.
Any arguments?
"Free Offer Inside..."
This works almost as well. When a gift certificate just won't suffice in a
business-to-business mailing, this is usually my next choice. And more often
than not, the other writing on the envelope is:
"OPEN IMMEDIATELY!"
There's a saying around here in Direct Mailville that states you must tell
the recipient exactly what you want him to do for the best chance of having him
do exactly what you want.
"Just Call and Get..."
How many times have I said this phrase? Hummm, nope, can't count that
high. I mix it in with one of my other key phrases:
"Call Us TOLL FREE..."
In a copywriting assignment for an envelope printer, I asked readers to call
16 times in a 2 page letter. 16 times in one letter! So don't feel bad about
asking customers to call three or four times on the same page. If you'd like to
see how I weaved this into the letter copy without being too obnoxious, just
drop me a note and I'll send you the letter. Yes, the letter definitely made
his phone ring. You bet.
"Dear Colleague"
It's one of my favorite salutations. So much better than 'Dear reader,'
which is always my last choice. And who's to say your reader isn't a colleague
in some fashion.
"...and Friend."
I like to offer this phrase after the salutation, to make it friendlier and
more personal. And it does. "Dear fellow Pharmacist and Friend". "Dear Pet
Lover and Friend". "Dear Chevy Owner and Friend". About 50% of my letters have
these two words after the opening salutation. In any type of local mailing, my
favorite opening is "Dear Neighbor and Friend". Sounds kinda' nice, n'est-ce
pas? Readers usually think so, too.
"Thank You."
You know, you can never say 'thank you' enough to your customers. Never.
Almost every letter I send has the word thanks in it at one point. Another way
I express this is:
"Thank you for your business, and your trust."
If you don't thank them, how are your customers to know you care, or
appreciate their business? Chances are they won't. That means if they have the
opportunity to go elsewhere, they will. I ran monthly advertising with a
magazine for 6 years, they never thanked me once in a letter. When the ad
became marginal, I dropped out, and never felt one bit of remorse, despite their
pleas. Contrast this to the form we shipped our product with: our shipping form
measured 41/2" x 71/2", and I thanked our customer 6 times on this form. You
can call me on this one too, just drop a note and ask for our old Merion Station
Mail Order shipping form. Thanks.
"Thank you for your kind referral."
One of the best ways to get business is through referrals. One of the best
ways to get more referrals is to send a thank you letter to the person who made
a referral. No, a phone call is not the same. When you hang up after a phone
conversation you cease to exist. A letter, well, that can hang around for a
while - to be appreciated over time. I once wrote a nice 'thank you' letter to a
retailer who installed my car radio. They framed it and hung it on their wall -
for about a year.
Face it, when someone calls to say thanks, you say "That's nice, they
called." End of story. But when you receive a letter of thanks... well, that's
big time. Someone actually took the time to sit down and write a letter of
thanks. Wow, monumental effort. They know you appreciate it. To our firm, a
referral means someone gave our name with the silent pledge of their trust. It
is an honor we don't take lightly.
"Thank you for the opportunity and the privilege to be of service."
Business rule number one: it is a privilege to serve your customer. Let
them know this is how you feel, and customers will remain loyal to you for
years. Not only do I say this frequently, I believe it. So does every person
in our firm - it is part of our company creed.
"New Product Offers Benefit!"
This formula is unusual in that it works almost everywhere. In direct mail,
it's a safe bet for envelope teaser copy, especially when coupled with the three
great lines at the top of this article. "New product offers benefit" also is
one of the best, time tested formula for the headline of ad, or a press release
headline.
It's also my very favorite formula for the "Jeff Dobkin Benefits-First Press
Release." I've found if you use this formula for the first line of your press
release the benefits never, ever get cut out. Editors cut from the bottom, and
sometimes from the middle, but the first sentence is always left intact. Since
benefits sell the product and increase the response, it's a hard-hitting direct
marketing technique to squeeze them in anywhere you can. They'll look just
great up at the top of your press release.
"Free Booklet offers how-to information."
This headline attracts readers with a free offer, but also limits the
attraction to the specific market segment you are targeting to better qualify
respondents. This saves you time, and money by not having to send literature to
a non-buying, poor-prospect market. On the up-side: "Free booklet shows you how
to pack glassware for moving!" produces good response, but only from people who
are going to move. Very targeted marketing. This type of headline produces tons
of high quality, highly qualified leads.
"Objective:"
Before writing any copy, including sales letters, brochures, direct mail
packages, catalogs, everything - first write "Objective:" in the upper right
hand part of a clean sheet of paper. Then write the objective. I do this at
the start of every writing assignment. This reminds me why I am writing, and
what the writing must accomplish. Unless I'm drafting a catalog or hard hitting
package that sells products directly, my objective is usually to make the phone
ring; so my copy is written to sell the phone call. Objective: to make the
customer pick up the phone and call.
Writing the objective first, clarifies my writing. The objective is usually
a surprise to most of my business-to-business clients who think I am trying to
sell their products. Heck, it's tough to sell from a sheet of paper. I generally
leave the selling to them. I just make the phone ring - with warmed-up
prospects.
In PR: "Are you the person I should send this press release to?"
I don't think I've ever met an editor who isn't incredibly sick and tired of
press agents or product developers who call up and say, "Did you get my press
release?" Sure they got your press release. They receive all the press
releases - which one was yours? This is usually followed by a flurry of
activity: the editor having to fumble through the stacks of papers, half-written
stories, half-finished coffee, and occasionally toward the deadline of the month
- half-eaten pizzas - sitting on their desk to find your release. I guarantee
by the time they found it, your press release has one foot in the grave - er...
wastebasket. Still in all, more likely than not, you're going to have to send
another press release to make sure they have it on-hand and at the ready.
Yet it's much more likely your press release will be published if you speak
with an editor. So here's the plan: Call the editor BEFORE sending him or her
a press release, and ask, "Are you the person I should send this press release
to?" You see, this sets up a 'can you help me' relationship with the editor,
and editors by their nature - like school teachers - are a very helpful lot. If
they say yes, give them a short, one minute pitch (they're also a very busy lot)
and then send your release to them. This will increase your chance of being
published from 5% to 50%, maybe 70%, maybe 80%.
If the editor isn't the right one, and says "Oh no, you've got to send that
to Jeff Rogers, our chief editor down the hall." You then pick up the phone and
knowing full well Rogers is the one, you call and say to him. "Are you the
person I should send this release to..." You see, this sets up a 'can you help
me' relationship...
"Nice speaking with you."
Even if it wasn't, "Nice speaking with you, thank you for receiving my
call." should be the first line of the letter you include with the press release
that you send to an editor after you've spoken with him or her. (Yes, I believe
all press releases should be sent with a letter). Since most press releases are
sent without phone calls, this subtly reminds the editor of your conversation,
and that the publishing of this particular release has great importance to you.
Also remember not to say in your letter, "Enclosed is our release..." they can
see that. Instead, your letter focus should be on "Thank you so much for your
consideration to publish our release. Your readers will get this wonderful
informational booklet, shipped promptly, filled with terrific ideas and tips
on...". Letters with press releases build your credibility.
Still
More Great Marketing Lines
"See Page..."
In catalogs I always like to refer customers to other pages. Whether it's
accessories, similar items, or just stuff that goes well with other stuff, the
best thing a customer can do is thumb through the pages. The longer the
customer stays in your book, the better the chance he'll order something, or
order something else.
"See Order Form on Page..."
If the objective is to have customers order, it never hurts to remind them.
Pointing to the order for is a subtle reminder. A nice phrase is "It's easy to
order - see Order Form on page..."
"What's New Inside..."
In newsletters, catalogs, long copy packages, and other longer publications
I like to entice readers with a bulleted list of fascinating places to go to
inside. If we can just spike a couple of high interest notes and get the reader
inside, we've accomplished the cover objective and have a good start toward our
goals of additional time in our package and increasing sales and brand loyalty.
"And how did you hear of our company?"
Built into every advertising and marketing program should be a tracking
system. When your marketing is purely through the mail it may be easy to track
through a priority code number, response sent to a particular department, or
simply a color coded envelope. But some marketing programs, and most retail
operations need to figure out which ad their customer saw or which offer they
are responding to. I always recommend this simple method: leave a small pad of
paper or stack of 3" x 5" index cards next to each phone, and when it rings -
early in the conversation - ask "And how did you hear of our company?"
Take all the filled-out slips of paper and put them in a selected drawer.
At the end of the month you'll have a good idea which ad or program is working.
At the end of 6 months you'll know for sure which ads were profitable and which
mailing worked the best.
"It's a little over, is that OK?"
OK, so it isn't used in direct mail. But I don't know of a deli counter man
this side of New York who hasn't used this up-selling line at least a thousand
times a week. Pretty effective marketing, eh?
"Satisfaction Always Guaranteed"
Heck, you're going to get stuck with it anyhow if it comes back, might as
well be a nice guy and say this right up front. It'll increase your sales.
"Kindest regards,"
I sign off of every letter this way. Kinda' nice, don't you think?